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How To Use Fear To Be More Confident

September 22, 2022 • Confidence

Do you ever wish you could be more confident? A few weeks ago I had Lisa Bilyeu on my podcast to talk about confidence. She is the author of a book called Radical Confidence, which she defines as, “being scared and doing it anyway.” We talked about how so many of us feel stuck in a place where life is good, but it’s not amazing. She described this as “purgatory of the mundane.” We think we need more confidence to get unstuck, to make a change. What we need to be doing is asking ourselves, what is our end goal? What do we wish we actually had the confidence to do? 

Be Confident, Be In Control

So to gain more confidence, start by asking yourself, what do you want the confidence for?

People focus so much on the confidence part instead of focusing on what they actually want it to do for them. What do you need the confidence for? Maybe you want to tell your boss you’re burnt out? Do you want to ask for a promotion? Are you considering a career change? I want more confidence to do what? The answer to that question might just give you the courage to step into that fear. Resulting in more confidence to do what you want most! 

Fear Can Make You Confident

I’ve worked with many athletes. Every single one of them felt fear. They’ve all had that pit in their stomach. Tara Lipinski told me on my podcast that she was scared to death when she stepped out onto the ice during the Olympics. When guys and girls are standing over a putt to win their first golf tournament, they’re scared. When they’re standing on the line getting ready to drain a game-winning free throw, they’re afraid. The pitcher, standing on the mound of vans seven of a World Series, there is a pit in their stomach, guaranteed. But they do it anyway.

Over time the result of stepping into fear is that we build our confidence muscle, and we strengthen it. 

My Challenge to You

So, ask yourself, is what you want more important than stepping into that fear?  What’s at risk if you do it, and what’s at risk if you don’t? Sometimes we have to realize that what we want most is more important than letting fear defeat us, which can create confidence. 

More on Confidence:

What do you wish you had the confidence to do?

The Molly Fletcher Company inspires leaders, teams and organizations to up their game. A keynote speaker and author, Molly draws on her decades of experiences working as a sports agent. Her company offers training and coaching programs to help leaders unleash their potential, including: Game Changer Negotiation Training, which teaches business people a framework for successful negotiating; The Energized Leader training, which teaches people how to manage their energy to achieve focus and freedom; and a monthly coaching program, Game Changer Leadership Huddles, to help members recharge their purpose and mindset. Sign up to receive our newsletter, subscribe to the Game Changers with Molly Fletcher podcast, and watch her TED Talk on The Secrets to a Champion Mindset.

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